Want

August 25, 2011 § Leave a comment

Slutty Dorothy

Slutty Dorothy

Bubble Sweet Paperchase Doorstop

Bubble Sweet Paperchase Doorstop

My Shameful Addiction

July 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

The notebooks that I own:

  1. Pink Moleskine A6 day to a page diary with plain pages, pocket, and pink elastic strap
  2. Black Moleskine A6 thin notebook with plain pages and pocket
  3. Black Moleskine A6 thin notebook with plain pages and pocket
  4. Black Moleskine A6 thin notebook with plain pages and pocket – unused
  5. Black Moleskine A6 hardback journal with plain pages, pocket, and black elastic strap
  6. Navy Paperchase A5 fabric bound hardback notebook with plain pages – unused
  7. Kaleidoscope Paperchase A5 soft cover notebook with lined pages – unused
  8. Floral Paperchase A5 soft cover notebook with lined pages
  9. Bright pink A6 Paperchase fabric hardback notebook with plain pages and bright green grosgain tie
  10. Emerald green floral flocked Paperchase A6 plastic and spiral bound notebook with lined and blank pages, plastic pocket inserts, and zippered document holder
  11. Funny Faces print Paperchase A6 plastic and spiral bound notebook with lined and blank pages, plastic pocket inserts, and zippered document holder
  12. Black Paperchase A6 hardback journal with plain pages, pocket, and black elastic strap – unused
  13. Chive green Paperchase A5 fabric bound hardback notebook with plain pages – unused
  14. Dark fuschia Paperchase A5 fabric bound hardback notebook with plain pages – unused
  15. Serge camera print Paperchase A5 soft cover notebook with lined pages, pocket, and black elastic strap – unused
  16. Mulitcoloured hexagon print Paperchase A6 hardback notebook with lined pages, pocket, and black elastic strap
  17. Typewriter print Paperchase A5 soft back notebook with lined pages, silver page edges, and plastic jacket – unused
  18. Purple floral print Paperchase A5 soft back notebook with lined pages – unused
  19. Brown Kraft A6 card bound thin notebook with red binding and lined pages – unused 
  20. Brown Kraft A6 card bound thin notebook with blue binding and lined pages – unused
  21. Brown Kraft A6 card bound thick notebook with black binding and lined pages – unused
  22. Brown Kraft A4 hardback notebook with black binding and stiff brown pages – unused
  23. Brown Kraft A5 soft cover notebook with orange op art ink design on page edges – unused
  24. Brown Kraft A5 card and spiral bound notebook with lined pages and black elastic strap
  25. Brown Kraft A5 card and spiral bound notebook with lined pages and black elastic strap
  26. Brown Kraft A5 card and spiral bound notebook with lined pages and black elastic strap
  27. Brown Kraft A5 card and spiral bound notebook with lined pages and black elastic strap – unused
  28. Brown Kraft A6 card bound notebook with black binding and plain Kraft pages – unused
  29. Brown Kraft A6 notebook with blocks of plain cream and Kraft pages – unused
  30. Blue and red floral A5 Cath Kidston hardback and spiral bound notebook with red lined pages
  31. Antique Chinese soft bound leather notebook with brown paper
  32. Red and black A6 vintage hardback accounts book with lined pages
  33. Leopard print fur A5 hardback notebook with lined pages
  34. Patchwork A5 fabric hardback notebook with recycled blank pages
  35. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  36. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  37. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  38. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  39. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  40. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  41. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  42. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  43. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  44. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  45. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  46. Blue G & T A5 soft back exercise book with lined pages
  47. Orange tooled leather A6 notebook with lined pages
  48. Brown suede A6 hardback notebook with plain pages
  49. Brown suede A6 hardback notebook with plain pages – unused
  50. Abstract floral print white A5 soft back notebook with lined pages
  51. Purple A5 hardback ring bound notebook with plain purple pages
  52. Pink A6 plastic cover notebook with plain pages
  53. Striped A5 hardback ring bound notebook with plain pages – unused
  54. Blue A5 velvet hardback notebook with plain pages
  55. Red A4 hardback notebook with plain pages
  56. Black A4 soft cover notebook with plain pages
  57. Pink ‘Secrets’ A5 soft cover notebook with sectioned pages

To A Notebook

July 13, 2011 § Leave a comment

Moleskine Diary - The Ultimate Notebook

A notebook. Creamy pages blank with promise, bound with dusty green fabric and tied with a grosgrain bow.

Few people understand this obsession. I have probably around thirty blank notebooks, most of which I will never write in because they are ‘too good’. I don’t buy them to write in, I buy them to imagine what COULD be born onto those pages. It’s the optimistic and anticipatory feeling of a fresh start, and I don’t like to sully that with my messy writing. I see myself more as a discerning collector. The kind that sniffs the binding glue, guages the caliper, observes the grace of the page lines.

So they stay blank and perfect and pile up in my wardrobe, alongside my hundreds of filled notebooks. When I was young I was so poor that I’d write in anything. I used to buy school excercise books in packs of five from the 99p store, and cramp my writing in real small. I still have them, ‘School Notes’ one to twelve, as if that would stop my predatory siblings from looking…

My first collection of poems is written in an old accounts book that belonged to my grandfather. At the time I just grabbed it as a source of precious paper, but now I’m so glad I have something of his. It’s destroyed, filled with words, with pages falling out and letters stuck in, but it’s me; who I was and who I thought I’d be now. Ha. How misguided I was as a child.

It’s so bizarre to look back at almost 13 years of my words. It is easier to look at the child I was at 9 – distant and alien – than it is to look at the girl of 18, throwing herself violently at life and thinking that was it, grown up, done. I want to shake her, tell her to work hard, drink less, be nice to her parents. I know all that bollocks about ‘I wouldn’t be who I am if…’ and I agree, my mistakes have made me who I am. But I wish, I WISH I could take some back, or erase them from my notebooks and my mind.

But I can’t. I couldn’t force myself to destroy those tentative and naive steps into adulthood. The girl in the pages is a stranger, but I want to keep her safe. I fear forgetting her, forgetting the people, the things that happened. It’s like a story that I don’t like, but I know means enough to be saved from the flames.

This famous bookcase of mine will be home to all these thousands of words. I think all my diaries, books of poems and blank notebooks will probably take up a whole five foot shelf, and it will mean so much to me. After so many years of cramming myself between their covers and carting them around from home to home, they’re finally finding their resting place. The final home where they can be…not CELEBRATED, but honoured for what they have meant to me.

Paperchase Diaries - Paperchase Notebooks

Paperchase

July 11, 2011 § Leave a comment

Someone PLEASE tell me how I’m supposed to resist spending money when there’s a new Paperchase in town? Is it a conspiracy?! A new store packed with colourful cutesy amazing stuff at a time when I’m very aware I have two huge bookcases to fill is not a good thing. I spent some money. I felt guilt. It’s done.

And now I’m happppyyyyy!!!!

Paperchase Kiddy Joy

I Could CRY They're So Beautiful...

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