The Saga of the Boots Continues: Still Boring To Most Humans

February 24, 2014 § Leave a comment

Dune boots

Well, they’re here. Dune not only delivered them free to my nearest store (by mistake) in two days, they also texted and emailed me every day to give me a progress update. Props for nice copywriting: “Look out…your order is on its way. If you fancy tracking your order, just click the link below.” Cute.

I likes them. They are VERY grown-up but also slightly slutty, which is interesting. From the side they’re like “Oh hey, I’m here to pick up Milo, Class 4B?” and from the front they’re all “That will be £1000 in cash up-front. No kissing.”

Dune Tanka boots

I don’t quite know what to do with them. I had envisaged myself as a Ralph Lauren-type Sloane in blue jeans and knee boots, careless ponytail and striped jumper… But that’s not going to work out. A) I am not a Ralph Lauren-type Sloane and b) These boots are just too honest-to-goodness I MADE AN EFFORT to mitigate with jeans.

So I’m pretty sure I just spent £63 on some boots I will only wear with black tights and a black skirt. Sure, that’s a fairly regular outfit for me, but they’re not going to change my life and I truly expected them to. I should really start to learn that shoes can’t change who you are. But wait, no. The magical powers of huge black platforms DID turn me into a cooler, longer-legged person (at least in my head, which is what this is obviously all about).

And they cost around £20 a pop. Bugger.

Never mind, breezing on, I think these guys are for keeps so I look forward to our slightly awkward relationship in the years to come. Maybe we’ll live happily ever after as I grow used to having grown-up legs. I hope so.

The End.

Blogger’s Downfall

February 5, 2014 § 1 Comment

Ten minutes ago I did that awful girl thing where you search for something because you saw a girl on a blog wearing it and you thought that if you bought it you would become her, as bread and wine become the body and blood of Christ. (What is that? Transmogrification? Transubstantiation? I was big into the Ts in my dictionary phase.)

I mean, these magic boots haven’t arrived yet so it’s still possible but I doubt my thighs are going to lose an inch the minute I shimmy into them. They’re not even real suede. Free post though? 

~Clutches wildly at all the straws tumbling down into a deep chasm of regret~

It’s at times like this that I remember some of the best things I own (plastic skeleton hand hairclips, kids’ leopard coat, platform Goth boots, floor length silver dress) are also some of the cheapest things I own. But then again, I’m not a poor beggar lady any more so here they are, in all their arrogant faux-luxe glory:

Kensington knee boots

Maybe the thighs come with the boots.


Irregular, Me?

October 9, 2013 § Leave a comment

Irregular, Me?

They’re HERE.

Royal Albartross

July 2, 2013 § Leave a comment

Well guess what? My article about Royal Albartross on HOWL has led rather pleasantly to writing a few news stories here and there for the company.

If you didn’t see that piece, Royal Albartross make the most beautiful golf shoes in the world. Now, I’m not golfer. But these shoes are to die for whether you’re a sporty type or not.

Check out my latest piece for The Golf Wire, an American online publication.

Fairway Belle by Royal Albartross

The Fairway Belle by Royal Albartross


March 3, 2013 § Leave a comment


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